Thursday, October 29, 2009

Good Clean Blood Jokes/Why Did I Come Here Again?

Cardboard Twilight People at the store... they got nothin' on Bond.

My friend said she couldn't find any fake blood for her Halloween costume, so when I was at Lippman Party Supply earlier tonight and saw some, had to let her know. Here's the conversation:

me: I'm at a place with blood capsules, will that work?
K: Yeah! That would be awesome!
me: How many? Pack of 6, $2.50
K: I think one pack should be good, right?
me: Oh, SHIT, just found the motherload! A whole bottle for $10!
K: Enough to cover a shirt and like 10% of my face. I can get you some money for bein' my "blood donor", haha.
me: They don't call me A "Positive" B for nothin'.
K: Haha, I could go on and on with blood jokes.
me: Me, too! I'm "hematobsessed"*, haha.
K: OMG, genius.
me: This store is great, do you need a real human hair mustache?
K: Nope, blood is all I need unless you see some good fake wounds. What are you going to be for Halloween?
me: I'm not even dressing up; completely forgotten why I came here.
K: Any good facial or hand wounds... sign me up.
me: Done. Also got you some fake skin for $1.
K: Thanks!
me: Ooh! 2-pack of slashed wrists, only $3.50!
K: So, so wrong.

*Came up with that one on the fly, I swear. And it made me want to write a Weird Al-style, blood-themed rewrite of "Obsessed".

Apartment 2, AB 0.


As if the horrendous wood rot/mold/plumbing issue were not enough, came home last night to a full-blown ant invasion in the kitchen. Awesome! Allegedly, landlord is coming by today to start ripping out walls to fix the plumbing stuff, which means I will be sans shower facilities for probably 4-5 days. Surely my neighbor will let me use his shower, and of course, there's always the gym... but I'm a little nervous about the whole thing. A gal needs to have a private shower available at any time, right?

It took me two years to get them to fix my shattered kitchen floor a while back, so I am completely shocked they're jumping on this project so quickly. But also quite happy because I have determined last week this apartment is slowly killing me. Must be the mold issue or whatever else is happening due to cascades of hot water flowing between walls and other places it should not be. Seriously cannot shake the headaches, earaches, and other symptoms and as I am fit as a fiddle otherwise, it's got to have something to do with this place. And while the rust-colored water streaming down the bathroom wall really adds a seasonally-appropriate Halloween, spooktastic touch, it is also quite horrifying.

I really don't want to move. I am really attached to this apartment, this street, this neighborhood... but stuff like this is so frustrating. Chalking it up to "charming" old buildings no longer cuts the mustard for me - I shouldn't be living in a total crap hole that's making me sick. So, we'll see how this little bathroom remodel goes...

Daily Food 10/28/09
Breakfast: bagel/cream cheese, V8
Lunch: chili and cornbread from Bob's Red Mill (the best!)
Dinner: tomato/avocado/artichoke spread on a hunk of French bread, piece of leftover pumpkin tart

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Blazers Season Opener @ The Rose Garden


Many, many thanks to McWiebs for taking me to last night's season opener against the Houston Rockets. Got to admit, I was surprised when I got that call- thought I was way lower down on that call list! As everyone knows, I do love me some Bleezys, and I was really excited about going to the game last night. My (fantasy) boyfriend Joel P fouled out. Blazers took it 96-87. We all got a free hat! The Hoot was somewhere below my section in a fancy company box; poppin' bottles and eatin' Blazer cake, that's how she rolls.

Daily Food 10/27/09
Breakfast: V8
Lunch: Veg sub from Big Town Hero
Dinner: slice o' cheese pizza, Bud Light (plastic bottle!)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tiny Tuesday: Eyes Wide Shut


This is what happens when I can't fix my flash settings and it does that pre-flash flash before every picture. Sorry, cat. I'll try to get that corrected.

Party Boat!


A little late with this post - a couple of Fridays ago, I attended a party for work on the Portland Spirit. We had the whole boat to ourselves! The weather was perfect, crisp, fall-like, and the sky was clear enough to see stars once it was dark enough. The boat left from the S Waterfront "neighborhood" (are they still trying to get people to believe that's a real neighborhood?), went South to OR City, turned around before the locks, and headed back up the Willamette to near the Burnside Bridge.

I spent most of the trip on the upper deck in the open air, checking out the awesome views, while the rest of the party was enjoying music inside (special surprise guest was the lead singer from Dishwalla... anyone? anyone? hello?). My former intern got super drunk (her first work party) and called me and my counterpart "Down Ass Bitches" repeatedly, which was the most entertainment I needed that night.

Daily Food 10/26/09
Breakfast: nothing.
Lunch: veggie plate (celery, yellow pepper, tomatoes, cucumbers), Tofurkey slices, bagel chips, diet Coke.
Dinner: Boca patty, potato/zucchini saute with creme fraiche.

Monday, October 26, 2009

High Tech, Old Timey Fall Fun


Went to the Corn Maize (isn't that redundant to spell it that way?) on Sauvie Island last night for some good, old-fashioned autumn fun, preceded by snacks at Tienda Santa Cruz in St. Jeezy. What was most amazing to me was the fact that while out gallivanting through thick mud and creepy, swaying corn stalks, everyone had smart phones in hand, emailing, texting, and posting pics to Facebook. I actually commented on my friend's photo he posted while still within earshot of the group, though we were completely lost and separated physically in the maze. From the Victory Bridge, we could see lines of folks weaving through the stalks accompanied by glowing iphone light. I overheard someone wondering how we could all track our steps, and that there must be an app for that. Crazy times.

Breakfast: snack plate- cheese, baguette, grape tomatoes, avocado
Lunch: nothing, but had a Hot Toddy with Roomie and Neighbor Neal
Dinner: split a veggie burrito and an Elephant ear with Estelle
misc: bedtime bourbon

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Eco Roof Tour




Yesterday, went on a walking tour of Eco Roofs in Portland, sponsored by the American Institute of Architects, where we met first before heading out. There were about 40 of us, traipsing through super fancy Pearl buildings in search of some of many Eco Roofs in P-tizzle, an ever-growing project that involves designers, architects, City Of Portland planners, environmentalists, and lots of other folks. The whole concept is pretty darn cool, and lots of info can be found here. I'll admit, though, that I was way more into the views of the city than the roofs themselves.

The best was the view from the Penthouse/Sky Lounge at the Asa building, an apartment building near Bridgeport Brewing that was way too fancy for my tastes. I don't want to know what the rent is there. It was evident that the youngsters hanging out in their Sky Lounge probably do not pay their own rent, so I guess if that was my life, I wouldn't care what the rent was. But I would also rather drink bleach than live in the Pearl, so I'll be content with my broken-ass crappy apartment in SE.

The folks who led the tour (a landscape designer and a City outreach employee) were awesome, the weather could not have been more beautiful, and we had a great time.

Daily Food 10/24/09
Breakfast: nothing
Lunch: Organico (tempeh) burrito from Cha Cha Cha!
Dinner: tomato salad, butternut squash/roasted garlic soup, baguette, pumpkin tart (courtesy of Matt E), bubbly
Misc: IPA and pretzels at Bridgeport after the tour

Friday, October 23, 2009

Kid Sister @ Holocene




Wednesday evening began pretty mildly. Went to Happy Hour at C-Bar with Neighbor Neal, played some Scattergories with my roommate, very wholesome. Good clean fun, if you will. Told everyone I wasn't leaving the house. Fast forward to waking up this morning and saying out loud, "But why am I wearing a wristband?" A moment later, I experienced a totally awesome mental montage, just like on a movie, accompanied by this song. Took me a minute to run through everything, but it seems to have all started with this text convo:

me: Dude, what happened to you? You at a show? I tried to hollllllller.
BossyMa: I'm here. You wanna come?
me: Is it too late? I am in sweatpants. Shit.
BossyMa: Haha, well, holler if you want to come.
me: On my way. PS, ferrealz I am in sweat pants.

Got to Holocene (thanks to BossyMa for getting me in!), got a drink, found my peeps, and Kid Sister came on shortly thereafter. It totally ruled. She was super fun, super hot, and had killer moves. Less glammed up than in say, the Pro Nails video, she was wearing a sweet tshirt that said, "too blessed to be stressed". She brought with her two dancers (wearing bizarre "Eyes Wide Shut"-type masks, btw), who did not stop frantically moving the entire time. They were really impressive.

And talk about those nails! Sweet Baby Jesus, they were so sparkly, just like her eye shadow, which one could see sparkling from across the room. I'm inspired, as if my recent nail polish fetish was not bad enough. Oh, and the first photo above (OR Trail card, ridiculous manicure) is from her Twitpic... how awesome is that? Those Chicagoans are welcome in P-Town any time. There were some pretty bad sound issues on Wednesday, but it was fun despite that and I would love to see her perform again.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Tiny Tuesday: Sleep Deprived.


Because sometimes 22 hours a day is just not enough.

Daily Food 10/19/09
Breakfast: leftover pizza slice, V8
Snack: honeycrisp apple
Lunch: black beans/brown rice/spicy tofu/tortillas plate
Dinner: Gardenburger

Friday, October 16, 2009

New Love, Old Records.


The newest addition here at the Gladstone Court Apts is our new (old) record player and a giant box of Roomie's old discs. Add my milk crate of records to that, and we are basically set for life. And to think, just earlier this week I declared that I was going to become familiar with current music since I peaked in 1999. So much for that plan! Who needs itunes, Pandora, etc.? Not us, we are bringin' lo-fi back. It's like Bringing Sexy Back, but more old-timey. Some highlights:

Prince
Billy Joel (I predict this will be frequently played)
Lots of Beatles
Asia
Loggins and Messina
Fleetwood Mac
Lionel Richie (made for great dinner music last night)
Yes
Crosby, Stills, Nash (and sometimes Young)
Stevie Wonder

Daily Food 10/15/09
Breakfast: V8, Honeycrisp apple
Lunch: Hungarian Mushroom soup, salad, garlic bread from Sully's
Dinner: Matt E made vegetable stew- potato, parsnip, carrot, leeks, fennel, mushroom, etc.; baguette slices, Neighbor N made spicy baked tofu
Misc: bedtime bourbon

Thursday, October 15, 2009

You Do Not Listen To Enough Rap Music/Sharing a Brain.


This may only be funny to me, and it's rife with inside jokes. But seriously, it's like I share a brain with this man. My BFF Neighbor Neal and I share a rare late afternoon IM, enjoy.

4:41 PM
me: My lunch was delicious.
N: Was it vegan and gluten-free?
me: Almost.
N: Well then I'm not interested.
4:43 PM me: In all fairness, I had no dinner last night or breakfast today, so I can eat what I want... It's my hot body.
N: It's your hot body!
me: Hahaha!
N: Jinxed.
me: It's like we share a brain.
N: You might pick up some booze for tonight if you don't want bubbly.
4:44 PM me: I'm waiting to hear back from Roomie if she wants me to go to the liquor store on my way home, for the party tomorrow.
N: Gotcha.
4:47 PM me: WHOAH, just got the liquor store order from Roomie, sweet Jeezus. Handle of vodka, biggest bourbon they have, 2 different tequilas... and more.
N: Jeezus.
4:53 PM N: Do you need help at the liquor store?
me: Nah... you want me to pick anything up while I'm there?
4:54 PM perhaps some Hypnotiq? Alize?
N: I know not what either of those two things are.
4:55 PM me: You do not listen to enough rap music.
N: Clearly.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tiny Tuesday: So Serious.


A rare thoughtful moment without any claws or fangs involved.

Daily Food 8/12/09
Breakfast: nothing
Lunch: Tofurkey/Tofutti on Dave's Killer, V8
Dinner: Neighbor Neal made awesome black bean chili, cornbread

Monday, October 12, 2009

Where did two days go?


How is it Monday again? I feel like the weekend did not really happen, and I'm sitting here trying to recap and having a bit of a tough time. It's a blur, but I do know the following things happened at some point, though, in no particular order:

SE Hawthorne Food Carts
Heard the worst karaoke ever
Eviction taking place next door to my apt
Miss White Trash 2010 pageant
Sunday park time at Oregon Park in NE
Brunch at the Delta
Stole Coolest Ring Ever from CP (see photo above)
Purchased new issue of "Busted"
Watched "Sunshine Cleaning"
A jaunt up to St. John's

Daily Food 10/11/09
Brunch: eggs benedict w/ veggie sausage, grits, bloody mary
Snack: pecans, pumpkin seeds, crackers/dip, popcorn in the park
Dinner: Gardenburger, salad, tots
Misc: beers with CP

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Favorite Price: Free.


Last night, went to an advance screening of A Serious Man, the new Coen Bros movie, at the Fox Tower, for the whopping price of zero dollars. Thanks, Yelp! The movie was great - like Burn After Reading, it was pretty bleak- a modern (well, 1967) retelling of the story of Job, and very entertaining. It was a peek into the dreary life of Larry Gopnik, whose life begins to unravel for no apparent rhyme or reason. While it contained many trademark Coen features (especially the ending), it was quite different than most of the Coen cannon. I still need to figure out the significance of the opening sequence. A film critic I am not. But I recommend the movie!

Daily Food 10/7/09
Breakfast: Dave's Killer Rye with Port Salut, V8
Snack: banana
Lunch: snack plate-grapes, olives, baguette slices, cheese, corn chips
Dinner: Boca Burger, cup of tomato soup, tots

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Tiny Tuesday: Arachnophobia



Roomie bought the beast her very own remote-controlled Tarantula. Hilarity ensued.

Daily Food 10/5/09
Breakfast: Dave's Killer toast with cream cheese, V8
Lunch: Tofurkey slices, hummus/plantain chips, squash soup
Dinner: Chik'n patty, pesto potato salad, tomato salad

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Pro Nails


I've been harnessing my inner 12-year-old with a recent obsession with nail polish. I never painted my nails when I was a kid, so I think now I'm making up for lost time for the couple of decades spent polish-free. And I am completely out of control. I have moved on from normal one-tone color jobs to multiple colors, layers, glitter (I'm embarrassed to even say that word), and generally trashy add-ons. Also, I can't sleep, so much of this happens between 2 and 4 am, when normal folks are snoozing.

BossyMa shared this video with me recently and it. is. ridiculous. I wish I could have been in the brainstorming session during which this concept was green-lighted: "Yeah, man.... let's totally put tiny shoes on people's fingers and it will be like they are dancing! GENIUS."

Kid Sister - Pro Nails

Daily Food 10/3/09
Breakfast: nothing
Lunch: The Whole Bowl
Dinner: slice of spinach pizza/popcorn at the Academy Theater
Misc: Bud Light and one bourbon, impromptu Arbor Lodge neighborhood pub crawl

Friday, October 2, 2009

Elite Event: Salty's On The Columbia



Another fine Elite event last night at Salty's, after a few wrong turns to get onto Marine Drive. We were greeted with leis and smiles, and the second I laid eyes on the stack of Yelp lunchboxes, I was enamored. I couldn't wait to lay my grubby hands on one of those. The suspension was killing me. K and I discussed: the only thing better than having a lunch box is having a thermos to go along with, right? BossyMa and Max dressed me for the event, the theme for which was "Sunset on Summer", so seasonal, tropical wear was encouraged. Max picked me out a sweet, vintage blue and white number, which I wore with black boots and the Bumpit.

Food was great, company was fantastic, setting was beautiful. As usual, an awesome event. Oh, and when we were finally handed our lunchboxes, guess what was inside. That's right... a matching thermos. DAMN! It was a great time. The weather held more than expected, the setting was beautiful, and I talked to many fine folks. The service there was outstanding. Picked to be the customary "name tag" queen, I ended up with about 50 name tags on my body by the end of the night. At least I got that out of the way, right?

Post-event, we headed to the afterparty at the Florida Room (holler!), and then yet another stop at the SE foodcarts on the way home. An impromtu autotune concert was happening at Whiffies. It. Was. Incredible. Words can hardly describe. One of those situations when you'd had to have been there. I am still trying to wrap my head around that one.

So Much for Bragging Rights.


Ouch! I got Grand Champion score on Gilligan's Island, but the button malfunctioned and I could not enter my initials. No one will believe me, I'm sure. At least I got a pic. "If there isn't a photo, it didn't happen."

Daily Food 10/1/09
Breakfast: V8
Lunch: veggie quesadilla from Jo's Saloon, next to my office
Dinner: snacks from Elite Event at Salty's: potato balls, cheese plate, bruschetta flatbread, endive with blue cheese spread
Late Night: vegan burger from Yarp?!
Misc: Sunset drinks at Elite event, bourbon at Florida Room